Happy Birthday To Oscar.... Truly my best buddy in the world

I am going to stop in and write some more things for you Oscar, but I wanted to just make it be known in case anyone forgets...... Nov 11 2005 Oscar was born and so began the story of Oscar and Andrew. I miss you so much buddy, not a day passes that I dont think of you. I would come here every day and write to you or about you but its hard, everytime i sit at the computer to write I cry. Seems like yesterday you, Sheri and I were celebrating your first birthday with you. It was the start of our new life.. the world was yours and mine to conquer, I'm so sorry life for us has ended up this way

It happens to all of us

It happens to all of us, there's no getting around it. One day we are faced with the heartbreak of having to say goodbye to one of our beloved companions. Those people who choose to adopt a dog are incredibly special - they are all too aware that the time with that dog will be limited, but they choose to open their hearts and home regardless. I often wonder, if the love is even more intense, knowing you truly have to live day by day and treasure every moment.

Irving Townsend, in his book "Separate Lifetmes", says it best:

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan."

On Monday March19 2007 at 8:20pm, Oscar Rymill....a very special boy left his family, he left me so lonely and even worse I was now alone again without him!

Oscar was adopted December 24 2005, age 6 weeks, I was at a very low point in my life and Oscars arrival opened my world and saved me. What better time for being saved than christmas. That evening I made a promise to him... It was him and I together for life no matter what!

I'd like to thank all our friends for all the kind words and thoughts we have recieved.As you might know by now, we had to take Oscar for his last trip to the vet on Monday March 19. Oscar passed very peacefully in my arms , he was so strong and brave as we were together until the end whispering how much everybody loved him into his ear. He had his favourite toys his quacking duck his squeaking toy he got from his friend Zoli and his toys from grandma He spent the morning with me, eating, playing in the backyard and napping. I took him to the vet at about noon and went home waiting for good news about his test. The outcome was not positive and my world completely shattered, it is probably the worst news I have ever had to hear in my life!

It was a very grey, cold, cloudy and scary day for me I was being forced to say goodbye to my best friend, my shadow, my heart , my soul, my motivation to get up every day. After Oscar had passed as we had left the vets office night had fallen. The next morning was grey and dismal, as I walked outside to get some fresh air and try compose myself from a sleepless tear filled night the Sun broke through the clouds and shone as brilliant and bright as I had ever seen, warming my tear soaked face as I sat there I realised this was Oscars way of telling me ''I made it dad!'' his journey was now complete.

He had such spirit and enetered everywhere eyes wide open.. He brought such an energy to my life that I will be honouring him in many ways. One will be to have all his good friends over for drinks for a memorial (date TBA), probably on the anniversary of his passing, another is the box with his ashes sits proudly on top of the bookshelf along with a clay paw imprint from his doctor, his collar, some pictures, his favourite toy and a card from the all his friends at the vet who treated him like the gentleman he was. He sits atop the book shelf as this is the highest point in the room so that he can watch over me just as I did for him every day that he was alive...and I will continue to do so everyday for the rest of mine

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Much to my surprise, this has happened sooner than later than I had expected. I was just looking at puppies on the internet and found one who looked just like Oscar except without the shiny lip. I wondered if this would be too soon...but that thought quickly passed, as I thought the best way to remember and honour my best friend Oscar was to open mines and Oscars home to another boxer friend. He arrived Saturday afternoon May 5 2007. Cinqo de Mayo

I would like to introduce you to "Hank". I have not done this sooner as I am still not sure in my heart that I am keeping him. He is a completely different dog than Oscar, quiet, shy and a little sceptical at this point. Like Oscar, he has so much potential. He's already fit in and has gotten used to life with me abnormal as it is!

Its been one Month, Toast to Oscar

Today is not much of a day for celebration but 8:20pm will mark exactly 1 month since Oscars passing, So pour some drinks raise your glasses and toast my bestest friend I have ever had and will ever have in this lifetime. I Miss you so much buddy not a day goes by that I dont cry for you and wish you were here. Its not just me who misses you buddy, your girlfriend misses you, Buster, Zoli, Uncle Jim, Ian, Neal, Grandma and Grandpa, Juliana and Dianne, everyone we used to visit at the car dealerships, all your friends at the dog park, and everyone whos heart you warmed and made smile.... They all miss you and love you Oscar and they will never forget you! For such a little guy you left the biggest impression on everyone.

Went to pick up Oscar from the vet today

There have been alot of hard days since Oscars passing, some easier than others but today wasnt one of those easy days.... probably one of the harder ones. I had to go to the vet today to pick up Oscars ashes... I have been looking forward to bringing him home since I last saw him but I wasnt ready to go back there yet. When I finally do find it in me to walk in it turns out they have him in the wrong box... just my luck! Such a beautiful warm sunny spring day I sat on the tailgate of my truck outside the vets office crying my eyes out. An hour I sat there absolutly numb to everything except the thought of Oscar. Not 15 minutes goes by during the day that I dont think of him, I talk about him all the time. I miss him so much. I don't have much and can handle losing things.... But why my best friend? He as my crew... if there was anything stable in my life it was Oscar. He didnt deserve this.

I'm Sorry Oscar

I'm Sorry you're alone Buddy, I wish there was something I could do to change this mess. The day you died... I died too! On March 19th I stopped living and started existing. At 8:20pm when you took your last big breath in my arms I lost the most important piece of my life and I have been so lost, screwed up, alone, lonely ever since. I am trying to put on a brave happy face for ya but its not working. Tomorrow isnt worth worrying about anymore without you here. I have no clue what to do anymore, I dont know where to go, I'm just grabbing at straws trying to figure it out. Just know Oscar you had people there with you that night who loved you so much. All the other friends you have miss you so much too! Why couldn't I have gone with you...at least we'd still be together.

Happy Birthday to me

If there was ever a day I wish I could have you here with me its today buddy.... I wished, I wish really hard and you still aren't here. I miss you so much Oscar

Card from the vet arrived

A card arrived from Oscars vet today, in it was a poem so that he knows he will never be forgotten.

They will not go quietly,
the dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
Their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes, coming home at night,
We miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
And a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
Belongs to them ...
And always will ..

Oscar I know you can see me crying for you I just wish I could have you back more than anything, everything....everywhere...everyone is a reminder and a memory of you. I had no world before you ... and you came and made it whole, now I dont know what to do without you. I love you buddy you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me.